It's a bird! It's a plane! It's...Mom?

I think many women have this complex. We are superwoman. We take care of the kids, cook the meals, run the errands, get the groceries, clean the house, and do we need help? No. We got this. Help is nice, but unnecessary. If you need us, we're the tornado sweeping through the house, leaving in our wake not destruction, but order. Until one day...
Until the day we get sick and literally can't stand up long enough to brush our teeth, let alone clean the house. Then what's a superwoman to do? The answer is very simple. Ask for help. If you're like me, it can be difficult to ask for help when you need it. For so long you've been doing things on your own, and you've come to enjoy it. However, sometimes we need to swallow our pride and ask someone to lend a hand. Be it your significant other, a parent, or a sibling, find someone who is willing to help you. I'm sure it won't be as hard as you assume it will be. It could be even the simplest things, but you would be surprised how much one person can help you out. All you have to do is ask.
John Lennon said, "When you're drowning, you don't say, "I would be incredibly pleased if someone would have the foresight to notice me drowning and come and help me." you just scream." In other words, if you're really in a pickle, stop waiting for someone to automatically assume you need some help. Remember, you haven't needed any one's help in awhile. Instead, open your mouth and say, "Hey, I could really use some help with this." Unless the person you're talking to is a fool, he or she will probably help you.
Take the help, and when you can help someone else. It's only fair.

 

The Terrible Two's, Three's, Four's...

Everyone always talks about the terrible two's. The screaming, the temper tantrums, the disobedience- no doubt they are challenging for parents. What no one warns new parents about is that after the terrible two's, it doesn't really get any better, it just changes. Instead of fits, it's destruction. Instead of screaming, it's incessant talking. Instead of disobedience, it's disobedience. OK, well somethings don't change.

From birth on our children come with their own set of challenges for parents, and no troubleshooting guide. Each time our child hits a new milestone, and new set of challenges arises requiring parents to change their routine and discipline habits. Every situation and every child requires a new way of handling it. Some children respond well to time-outs, while other children respond to having their toys or a privilege taken away. Parents need to figure out what works for that child in that given situation. This task can be quite daunting as parents have to play the guessing game as to what their child needs.

Don't lose heart. As frustrating as it can be, if you keep working toward your goal it can be quite rewarding. The only thing constant in life is change. We can pull ourselves out to the sidelines and say, "I give up. Let the cards fall where they may." Or we can roll with the punches and take it one day at a time. Some days will be better than others, but remember the goal at hand: watching your child grow up to be a responsible and respectful adult.

How Tired is Too Tired?

Raise your hand if you're a parent and you're tired. So that's pretty much all of you? Yes, that's what I expected. Of course we're tired. Our kids wake up at stupid o'clock, keep us going non-stop all day, and wake us up in the middle of the night. Add school, grocery shopping, cleaning, work and everything else into the mix and it's amazing we are still standing. Any parent that is tired assumes they're supposed to be. And we are, to a certain extent.
A problem arises when we assume we're so tired because of the kids, when really it's a health issue that needs to be discussed with a health care professional. Just because you're a parent doesn't mean you need to let yourself go unchecked. Your health is just as important as your child's. Who would take care of them if you were so sick that you couldn't? Our co-pays and medical bills may stop us from getting things checked, but in the grand scheme of things, it's worth it to ensure our continued health, for your sake and your child's.
My advice is this: If you are more tired than normal, or if you are extremely tired and have other symptoms of sickness, call your doctor and make an appointment. You know your body better than anyone else. If you feel like something is wrong, you could be right.
Your children need you at full tilt, so make sure you stay that way.

You've Thrown Off My Groove

I don't know about everyone, but I thrive on routine. Not a schedule, a routine. I don't do the same things at the same time everyday, but I usually try to do things in the same order. I get in my little groove, and I get things done. I can't stand it, when my routine gets thrown off, and the littlest things are usually what does it. Obviously the big things like a new baby or a vacation would change things up a bit, but you would be surprised at how little things throw me off.
If you want me to be coherent in the morning, I have to have my coffee. When I go to make it, if the trash can is full and I have to change the trash bag before I can throw out the old grounds, it throws me off. It's usually those days that nothing goes right, and I have to do six things just before I can do the one thing I needed to do in the first place.
Now there's a few things I can do here: Check the trash at night and change it before I go to bed; make the coffee before I go to bed; and if something small like that happens, not let it affect my mood. The first and second things would make the third unnecessary. But my ADD and I sometimes...ok most of the time we forget. So that leaves me with the third thing.
Every day, little by little, I learn that I have control over the way I act. Some days I'm better at it than others, but I'm still learning, and I will be until the day I die. It really isn't the end of the world that my groove was thrown off, I just have to realize that.
Are there things in life that you still need to learn?

This House is Not a Zoo

The other day, I was a little tired and was comparing my house to a zoo all day. Then I decided that I needed to think positively. I decided to write down reasons that my house is NOT a zoo, and here is what I came up with:

1. A zoo is more organized.
2. Feeding time at a zoo is less chaotic.
3. When the animals get fed, they don't complain.
4. Zookeepers get paid to deal with crap.
5. A zoo is quieter.

Ok, so I think I missed the point of the exercise. What I'm trying to say is, sometimes things at home can get pretty hectic, just like they can at a regular job. If we had a career, and we had a bad day at work, how would we deal with it when we got home? Run a bath? Drink a glass of wine and read a book? Watch adult cartoons into the wee hours of the morning? Even though we don't have a "career" maybe when we have a chaotic day, we can give ourselves the same treatment as if we did. Give yourself a little "me" time and relax. And also try to do what I failed to do, think positive.

My Son: The Fisher

For weeks now, my son has been relentlessly bugging my husband and me about going fishing. The whole family fishes, so it's only natural he would want to as well. For one reason or another, we never seemed to be able to get him out there. Yesterday was a beautiful day for it. So my husband took him to a pond in the area with his little Spiderman fishing pole and showed him the ropes. It was a little while before he got any bites, but just then a large mouth bass came up and took his bait. My husband hooked it for him, then handed him the pole and he reeled it in. After that, it was game on! He ended up catching a perch and a few turtles after that. The perch he hooked and reeled in all by himself. He was so excited and so proud of himself! Needless to say, he's hooked!

One up side to my son wanting to fish is this. Fishing teaches concentration, focus and patience. All of which little boys need to learn. Secondly, it gave him one on one time with his father. These are the times memories are made of. These are the days that my son is one day going to look back on and smile, and wish he could have these days back.

Life can be busy. I challenge every parent to gauge what is really important. Yes, the lawn needs to be mowed today, but what a beautiful day to make some memories with my kid. The lawn will be waiting tomorrow. Leaving good memories for our children is one of the greatest gifts we can give them.

And The Mother of the Year Award Goes To...

I think almost every mother has had one of these moments. That moment when you think to yourself, "I am a really, really horrible mother." Usually, it's something we've forgotten to do, or something our children have done without our knowing. Forgetting to pack diapers, the child escaping from the house, finding him playing with a dangerous object, these can all quickly bring a mother to her knees. Despite our diligence, some children just have a way of finding the things that can land them in the hospital.

The question is, is it really our fault? Don't get me wrong, some things can definitely be avoided, and there's no excuse for them. But these accidents and moments of forgetfulness, can they be avoided? We spend the majority of our waking hours ensuring the safety and well being of our children, yet somehow one little thing can spoil all our preparations. Should we try our hardest to ensure they don't? Yes. Should we feel guilty when they do? NO! Things happen. Children get hurt. They must learn from experience, just as we must. Take every thing that happens and learn from it, but don't allow things that are out of your control to worry you to death. And just remember, no one is perfect.

What A Girl Wants...For Mother's Day

I'll admit it. Women are difficult to understand. Trying to figure out what we really want can be frustrating. Well, here's a little hint as to what every woman wants for Mother's Day.

First and foremost, we want to know the things we do are appreciated. A simple "Thank You" along with a small gesture (i.e. flowers, candy, a card) can really go a long way. It's nice to know you're thinking of us.

This next one is going to sound terrible. The whole reason we became mothers was to raise our children and love them every day of our lives. However, we don't really ever get any time off. So for Mother's Day, we want to not be mothers. I know, we're always mothers, we always will be. But just for this day, we would like to not really have to do much. Take care of the kids, take them out to play so we have time to read a book, take a nap, or maybe even get an uninterupted shower. It's simple. It's free. It's great for a mother's spirit.

Every mother loves to receive gifts her children have made for her. It doesn't matter how horrible it actually looks. We know we didn't give birth to Da Vinci, but it's still nice to have our little one come up to us with a gift he's so proud of. Even a little flower he picked outside means the world to us. And guys, just for the record, dirty diapers do not count as "little presents". Ever.

So there's the basics. Obviously we aren't going to turn down a piece of jewelry or a new puppy. But these are the simple and mostly free things every guy can do that make our Mother's Day wonderful.

Moms, we are the most important (and underpaid) workers on the planet. We do an excellent job every day of our lives. Hopefully this day can renew our energy and keep us going another year! Happy Mother's Day!

No One Puts Baby In The Corner...Or Do They?

The "Terrible Twos"...completely understated. My children have drawn me to tears with their relentless whining, disobeying and pushing of buttons. I'm a firm believer in spankings. Love it or hate it, it's the way I was raised and I've seen it work. Spare the rod, spoil the child. However, my youngest is, uh....special. He's a tank with a head of granite and a rear end made of concrete. Perhaps I'm doing something wrong, but spankings actually don't work for this kid. The last few days have been awful. He got to the point where he wouldn't even acknowledge I was calling him. Completely ignored me. My breaking point and I were about to become very close friends.

Then, one magical moment occurred. We realized he hates the corner. A friend of ours was watching the boys for a few minutes so I could get my car inspected. While I was away, my youngest pushed his buttons too, and then he got sent to the corner. Standing inches away from the wall, not allowed to look behind him, talk, sit down, or touch the wall, we learned the way that boy needs to be punished.

He might still be disobeying, but he's being punished, I'm not yelling and screaming, and once his punishment is over, he does what I tell him too. He tried to refuse his dinner last night, and after just three minutes in the corner, came back to his seat and ate his whole plate. That's what I call progress.

The point here is be flexible. If a certain punishment isn't working, try something different. Let someone else give you advice. Many times we're so close to the situation (and thankfully not the one from The Jersey Shore) that we can't see the right answer even if it's in front of our face. Albert Einstein said, "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." It's the same for parenting as well.

Instead of breaking, perhaps we should just bend.

My Son Peed On Jimmy Rollins.

OK, well maybe he didn't really pee on Jimmy Rollins, but still. We went to a birthday party on Saturday for a three-year-old girl. It was a nice day and all the kids were playing outside while all the parents stood around and talked. Typical birthday party stuff. Right?

Now my oldest son was very difficult to potty train. Even today, he can be a pest about not wanting to stop playing to go potty. So while we are outside playing, and since we live in the country, I let him pee outside. That way he doesn't have to stop playing for very long, but he doesn't have to hold it forever. Unfortunately for me, he thinks no matter where we are, as long as we're outside he can pee. I bet you can see where this is going...

When we arrived at the party, he jumped in and started playing with the other kids right away. Our younger son took awhile to warm up to the idea, but eventually with a little encouragement, followed his big brother and started playing. Awhile passed with no serious issues. Then I hear one of our friends yelling my name, and as a parent, that's never good. I go over to see what the problem is, and she informs me that my oldest son started to pee, and that my youngest son (who was wearing a Jimmy Rollins t-shirt) wasn't paying attention, and walked right into it. Thankfully the poor kid had two shirts and I was able to take off the Rollins shirt and just leave his undershirt.

Part of me was really embarrassed when it happened, but then I noticed that everyone was laughing. They weren't laughing at me, they were laughing because it was funny! Once I realized that and started laughing along with everyone, I felt a lot better about it. There's a lesson that not only parents, but everyone can learn and try to apply to their life. There are times when you feel like you just want to curl up and die, but it's not always as bad as you think. William Arthur Ward said, "To make mistakes is human; to stumble is commonplace; to be able to laugh at yourself is maturity."

I hope everyone can find a reason to laugh today!