Thus Begins a New Era

It is my personal belief that not only can you measure a child's development based on his age, but also based on phases. Currently, Aj is in the "Push Mommy's buttons until she explodes in a storm of anger" phase. Until now, Caleb was in the "Hanging out doing what Mommy asks me to and being hyper" phase. This was quite the relief considering his previous phases: "I'm a cutie so I'm going to try to get away with as much as possible"; "Mommy will get tired of punishing me if I keep doing the same thing"; and "It will be a miracle if you live to see five".

Now, however, we are entering a new phase. Thus begins the era of "I'm going to act like the other kids I see." You can imagine how thrilled I am about this, considering I find other children terribly annoying. The worst is when he tries to imitate their laughs and mannerisms. I actually told him the other day that I don't want other kids, that I want Caleb. He got it for about five minutes. Unfortunately, this takes hyper to a whole new level. I understand what it's like to have a lot of energy, so normally I let it go for as long as possible before I tell him to chill out. The problem is, now when I tell him to chill out, he continues to act ridiculous until I'm forced to yell at him. Sometimes even after I yell, he keeps it up. I'm going to have to start coming up with creative punishments for this one.

So if you're a mother who sees her child going through this phase, take heart. You're not alone. I'm sure it can't last long....right?

Play Ball!

It's that wonderful time of year when spring training begins and kids all over the country start signing up for little league. Last night, Caleb and I went to the local municipal building to sign him up for baseball. You can't imagine how excited this kid is! He was practically jumping up and down in his booster seat on the way there! I'm excited that he's finally going to have a good outlet for all of his energy, but there's a few things I'm honestly not too excited about.

I know that with my husbands work schedule he won't be able to make all the games. I know that for the most part, I'm going to have to cart Caleb to practice and games by myself. No, I'm sorry, not by myself. I'll have Aj to keep me company...Heaven help us. That's going to be the really interesting part: me keeping Aj occupied while simultaneously trying to watch Caleb play. Should be fun.

Here's what I'm really excited about: the look on Caleb's face when he gets his first hit in a game; his reaction the first time he catches the ball; practicing with him in the yard and watching him get better and better. I can't wait to watch him play and learn about being a good sport. I'm happy he has an opportunity to make new friends.

Overall, I think this is a wonderful experience for both of us, and I can't wait to let the good times roll!

Play ball!

Above All Else

There will be many times in our adult life that we are required to do things we don't want to do. We will deal with mediocre jobs because they pay the bills. We will suffer through all the tasks we are required to do in a day because they happen to be part of life. As much as we hate it, we do it, and for no other reason than we are supposed to.

A problem arises, however, when things other people require us to do interfere with being a parent. The question then becomes, "What in the world should I do?" The answer, simple as it is, isn't easy: your children come above all else. We give up things we love all the time for our children. For instance, there have been many times I wanted to go to a concert, or a sporting event, or a party, but couldn't because of the kids. Those are things I readily give up, knowing when I chose to have kids, it was my choice and would require me to give some things up. If we can give up things we want to do for our children, we should be able to give up things that would affect our parenting.

Not so long ago, I gave up a career in which I could be making good money so I could be home with my kids. I knew this job wouldn't allow me to call out if the kids were sick, and I would be away from them for over 12 hours a day three to four days a week. Many other people can do this, and it works out just fine. But for me, the thought of it was sickening, and I gave it up.

We all have to make tough decisions in our lifetime, but let's all make sure that we consider our children first and foremost, and I applaud those who do this successfully.

It's Going to be a Long Summer.

What President's Day means to children:

I have a four day weekend? Awesome! I can play and have fun! I can stay up later and watch movies! I don't have to wear my uniform! This is going to rock!

What President's Day means to parents:

Crap. They have a four day weekend. They're going to want to stay up later, and I'm going to have to deal with their whiny butt all day.

I know this sounds awful, but after my experience this past weekend, it's pretty much the truth. I tried to make it a pleasant weekend for everyone, but my most valiant efforts failed. I let him stay up later and "read" his books. Sunday, we spent the majority of the day hanging out on the couch watching Star Wars. They even went to Chuck E Cheese for a birthday party on Saturday! Don't get me wrong, it was really nice getting to spend time with Caleb, and he got to spend time with his Daddy on Monday going on a walk through the woods, but by Monday night all I could think was, "I'm so glad he's going back to school tomorrow."

Go on, call me "Mother of the Year", I know it sounds horrible. And it is. But mothers of hyper little boys will probably understand. He and Aj were constantly fighting over toys, begging me for something, whining at me or just running around yelling for no reason. Needless to say, it can be frustrating and wearing. All I know is that it's going to be a really long summer, but at least I'll be able to let them play outside.

Another Lesson to Learn From My Child

Yesterday was a pretty long day for Caleb. After waking up at about 6:30, in typical Caleb fashion, he went to school all day, then came home and immediately we packed up and went to his grandmother's house. He got to play there all night while my husband and I went out for Valentine's Day  dinner. We didn't get home until almost nine, and his usual bedtime is seven. To say the least, he was tired. He was so tired he was asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow.

Most mornings, I don't have to wake him up so he can get ready for school. Most of the time, he's awake before I am, and sometimes he's already eaten breakfast by the time I get up (there's at least one good thing about Poptarts). Well this morning, apparently he needed some extra sleep. When I woke up, both kids were still sleeping and the house was completely quiet. Oh how I wanted to crawl back into bed. Well, something made me stay up, against my better judgment, and a few minutes later Aj woke up. So there we sat, watching TV and trying to figure out if I should wake Caleb up or not. I decided I wasn't going to wake him up, and if he missed school, so be it. The kid is five years old and hasn't missed a day of school yet. I don't think one day would hurt. So at about 20 after seven, he comes strolling out of his room rubbing sleep from his eyes. I asked him how he was feeling, and he said, "Oh I just had to sleep a long time. I have school today?" At this point, I literally have 20 minutes to get him ready to go. However, I decided if he could get ready in time, he could go to school and we started to it. He scarfed down some breakfast and I threw a few bucks in his folder so he could buy lunch. And in no time flat, and with a little to spare, he was ready to walk out the door before the bus was here.


Once again, I'm amazed by the dedication of my child. He was so tired this morning, and probably would have spent most of the day on the couch watching TV. Instead, he woke up with an eager heart and did what he had to do. If only I could wake up in the morning with that kind of conviction and inspiration. Maybe we can all learn a lesson from our children, who do what is expected, because it is expected, even if they don't feel like it.

My Children: The Best Birth Control in the World

If you or someone you know is thinking about having children, have them read this before they very carefully make their decision.

Last night, I slept horribly. I was awake more than I was asleep, and the little sleep I got wasn't great quality. To sum up, I was very, very tired this morning. Aside from Caleb not wanting to eat breakfast before he went to school, I got him on the bus pretty much without incident. I come inside to a stark naked Aj. He had stripped off his pajamas and his diaper and was running around the house like that. As I put on a new diaper and some clothes, I told him that if he did it again, he would be punished. Can you guess what happened yet?

Not only did he strip down stark naked again, he also did it when he had to go potty. You would think with as smart as this kid is, he would grasp the concept of using the toilet, but no. I'm pretty sure he thinks it's funny when I'm angry. So I find an unused diaper on the floor, and a pile of poo next to a puddle of pee...on his bedroom floor. At this point, I haven't had coffee, and I'm already at my wit's end.

I think I'm going to go to local high school and have teenagers take my kids for a few hours. I can almost guarantee the teen pregnancy rate would drop dramatically.

Try not to have a crappy day.

How to Irritate Someone: By Caleb and AJ

When irritation is the goal, look no further. We have for you a foolproof plan. Simply follow the directions below and you're guaranteed to get the results you're looking for.

Step one: Wake up before it gets light out, preferably an hour before your mom has to wake up. This is enough time so that she thinks she will be able to go back to sleep. Little does she know...

Step two: Make up a story about hearing a scary beeping noise so you have an excuse to go in her room. This is key, because it has to be believable, other wise she will just yell and make you leave.

Step three: Once you've gained access to her room, ask every question you can think of. At this point, she will start getting irritated and tell you to go watch TV. Phase one complete. Enter phase two.

Step four: Wake up your little brother.

Step five: Yell at your little brother so he goes screaming and crying to mommy, who may or may not have started to fall asleep.

Step six: Repeat step five until her alarm actually goes off and it's time for her to get out of bed. She should be completely irritated at this point, leaving her stripped of energy and all motivation.

Don't worry Mom, it's Friday. That means while you're trying to sleep tomorrow morning, I can do it all over again.

The One Where We Almost Have to Go to the Hospital

Last week in school, Caleb and his class were learning about music. One of those days, they made shakers with dried beans inside of them. He was very proud of his, since he made them and he also colored them his favorite colors.

Well, like most things in my house, the shakers didn't last very long. One of them broke open a few days ago and literally spilled the non-proverbial beans everywhere. We cleaned them up, but we have been finding random beans all over the place now. Usually Aj finds them and thinks of some way to annoy me with them, but there was one bean, one stupid little bean, that Aj didn't find...Caleb did.

For reasons unexplained to us, Caleb decided to put this one little bean up his nose. And I'm not talking he put it in his nose and was laughing and being silly, I'm pretty sure this kid snorted the bean up his nose. Upon shining a flashlight up there, we couldn't see it. So many things were going through my head at this point-like laughter-but I couldn't help but wonder if we were going to be able to get this thing out or if we would have to go to the hospital. And so we blow the nose. And blow. And blow. And it's not coming out. Crap.

Caleb is crying pretty hard at this point. It had to be uncomfortable at the least, and scary. While I was sitting and thinking of what I was going to do next, all he did was cough, and bean and blood came out of his nose and onto the tissue. Caleb went from crying hysterically to laughing hysterically in the amount of time it takes to shoot a bean out of your nose. Yeah, that's my kid.

So moms of little boys (and girls) take heart when your child does something like this. You're not alone.

Next Stop: My Childhood

There are many wonderful things about being a parent. Of course there's the obvious cliche answers like the love and the bond you share with your child, and knowing you made an impact on some one's life. Blah blah blah. Even though those things are wonderful, this particular blog is not a sappy one.

One of my favorite things about having kids is having random memories from my childhood, ones I had long since forgotten, come screaming back to life in an instant just because of something my kids did or a movie we watch. Within the past year, I've bought and watched All Dogs Go to Heaven, An American Tale, and The Lion King. I have distinct memories of these movies from my childhood, and it's amazing how quickly these memories come back to you.

Within the last half hour, while I've been sitting here at my laptop writing this, I have seen an episode of The Adventures of Winnie the Pooh as well as a commercial for Dumbo, which will apparently be playing on the Disney Channel soon. Over the holidays, we watched How the Grinch Stole Christmas and A Charlie Brown Christmas numerous times. I have DVDs of Animaniacs and Freakazoid and I love watching them with the kids.

As much as I love reliving my old memories, making new memories to share with my kids is what I love most about it. I now have two sets of memories surrounding these things, and I know that my kids will remember them for years to come. So your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to find a movie or a TV show that you watched as a kid, and take the time to watch it with your own children. Share a memory with them, and make a new one.

Pre-K: The New 8th Grade

So let me start off by saying, earlier this week I got a flyer in Caleb's school folder telling the parents that there is a "Sweetheart Dance" for Pre-K- 4th graders. They're supposed to bring a parent, but for Heaven's sake, it's a dance...for five year olds...I'm not going. Anyway...

Caleb normally comes home from school extremely happy. He's usually bouncing off the walls and telling me about his day. Yesterday, he wasn't doing any of that. He was sullen, not smiling, and didn't want to talk about school. Enter Mom-Mode. About 50 questions start rolling through my head, "Are you sick?" "Did something happen at school?" "Did someone at school hurt you?" I couldn't get him to talk. Most of his answers were "No." or "It's just nothing." I was worried, but if you've ever tried talking to Caleb when he doesn't want to talk, you know it's a losing battle. I thought I would give him some space and try again later.

Enter "Uncle" George, who has a special way with the kids. He gets Caleb answering questions. And we find out, through interrogation, that Caleb is sad because one of the girls in his class doesn't want to be his friend any more. She doesn't want to be his friend because he hasn't invited her over to play. So he tells me, he's upset because he isn't friends with everyone. Oh my goodness, I thought this was teenage girl drama.

Obviously we reassure him that sometimes not everyone will like you, and to keep being nice to her anyway. He was fairly happy with that. He told me after dinner that he is going to be friends with everyone even if they aren't friends with him. That's my Caleb.

But in all seriousness, what is happening with our children? I thought Pre-K was preparing for Kindergarten, not high school. I thought it was a time to make friends and learn through playing, not fighting over who likes who and whether or not you're my friend. Our children are growing up way too fast, and we only have ourselves to blame. We should allow our children to be children for awhile, not hurrying them to grow up. You have 18 years with your kids no matter how "mature" they are at five. Let's allow them to remain innocent awhile longer.

I'll step off my soap box now.

The Art of Losing

It was a tough weekend for the Harbaugh brothers, which means it was a tough weekend at our house. You see, I am a Ravens fan, and my sister is a 49ers fan. I had the kids watching the Ravens game with me yesterday, and this is pretty much how it went...

Every time the Ravens scored, forced a fumble, got an interception, I would jump up and down and yell and clap. The kids did the same.

Every time the Patriots made a good play, or when they got an interception, or scored, I yelled something similar to "Oh, come on. Are you serious?" The kids did the same.

I swore once, luckily they didn't repeat me.

Well after we ended up losing, all I could do was sit in complete shock and in silence. After processing the loss of my team, I started thinking about how my children were learning how to be a sports fan through what I was doing. And the question came to mind, how would I want them to act in this situation? When they start playing soccer or baseball or whatever sport they choose, how are they going to act when they lose? How are they going to act when they win? The answer is however I do.

I want my children to be gracious losers. I want them to give the other team credit for what they did well. I want them to understand that sometimes, you can give it your all and do your best, and the other team beats you fair and square. Yelling doesn't take away your loss, so at least accept your loss with dignity and grace.

I also want them to be gracious winners. No gloating on the sidelines, no rubbing it in. Still give the other team credit for what they did right. Don't act like you had it in the proverbial bag all along. It's one thing to be competitive, it's another thing to be a jerk.

I hope that with time, my children will learn to be like this, even if I can't always show them by example. Heaven knows there are times I'm not very sportsman-like while I'm watching my team on TV. However, I would be more proud of my son if he accepted his loss graciously, than if he won and acted like a jerk.

Great games Patriots and Giants, but I still hope that somehow you both lose the Superbowl.

They Call Me Mr. Tantrum

Over the last few weeks, I have noticed a peek in temper tantrum activities in Aj. He is almost three, so it's definitely the age that makes parents all over the world want to pull their hair out and claim "safe haven." Some days are better than others, but most days, this is about how it goes:

Aj- "Juice pack?" Me- "No, Aj. You already had one." Commence screaming.

Aj- "Outside?" Me- "No, Aj. Mommy has six loads of laundry to fold." Commence screaming.

Aj- "Thomas?" Me- "No, Aj. We've already watched Thomas 13 times. I would like to maintain my sanity for awhile longer." Commence screaming.

I could keep giving you examples, but I'm sure you get the picture. Pretty much anything he asks for, and I say no, we go through about five minutes of screaming, whining, and it usually ends up with me feeling just as frustrated as he does.

The experts tell you to ignore the tantrums. Just make sure they can't hurt themselves, then walk away. That's great. Want to know what happens when I walk away? He screams more. A few days ago, during one of his tantrums because I got him out of the bath tub before he was ready, I sent him to his room. I went in to put his clothes on him, and he told me no, and screamed at me, and I put his clothes on anyway. Then I told him if he couldn't be nice, he had to stay in his room. I walked away, and he screamed until he almost threw up. I guess the experts haven't met my kids.

So to this day, I don't know how to handle my child's temper. Usually, with time he stops crying and settles down, but quite honestly, I think it has to be up to him. I'm pretty sure there's nothing I can do to stop these tantrums. Heaven help me until this age ends.





In my quest for finding out how else to handle these, I came across a neat little website I would like to share. www.familyeducation.com It has expert and parental advice, a list of developmental milestones by age group, and all sorts of other resources. Enjoy.

And That's Why They Call Them Half Days

It's the week before Thanksgiving. Every child and parent knows that means only one thing: half days. To a kid, this means it's easier to go to school, because they're going to be out before they know it. The whole day seems to go by faster as classes are shorter. And no matter what day of the week it is, a half day always feels like a Friday. I remember being in school and loving half days. It was pretty awesome.

Now here's the parents side. Half days means I still have to do all the prep work in the morning like he's going to school for a whole day. I still wake up early, make my pot of coffee, make him a "lunch", and get his uniform ready. We still have to go wait for the bus, and I still have to deal with Aj waking up before he should because he hears us walking around. Then, when I would normally have enough time to accomplish things, but not today.

Today, in about four hours, I'll have to go wait for the bus again. You would be surprised how much I can accomplish in four hours, but it still won't be what I normally get done in a day. Then, when Caleb gets home, I'll have an extra two hours of listening to the boys fight over toys and begging me to go outside, not to mention fighting over what they're going to eat.

So if you ever wondered why they called them half days when they're aren't really half of a school day, it's because it literally breaks a parent's day in half. Good luck with that.

The Curse of Genetics

All my life I've been fighting,
Fighting an unseen foe.
He makes me drop all sorts of things,
Hit my hands, and stub my toes.

I spent time in a cast when I was six,
Fell off of a slide at five.
Cuts, gashes, and bee stings, I mean really,
It's a miracle I survived.

Now I've gotten a little more careful,
And this foe now, Heaven forbid,
Has stopped attacking me,
And now he goes after my kids.

Three times in two weeks it's happened now,
A phone call or note from the nurse.
He's fallen down stairs, or off of the slide,
It seems I've passed on my curse.

Who knew I could pass this to my children,
Who knew clumsiness was a gene?
What I do know is if they're anything like me,
It will be amazing if they see fifteen.

God please help my poor children,
If it be your will.
Keep them away from injury and harm,
And keep from me the ER bill.

And I Die A Little Inside...

Every parent knows that a child enjoys,
Playing with all sorts of noisy toys.
However what parents don't always know,
Is the more annoying, the better the show.

Max and Ruby, where are your parents?
Your entire show doesn't make any sense.
I expect more from my child than just one word,
And a boy playing tea party is a little absurd.

Dora the Explorer, yeah, you did it alright.
Because of you, I have a serious plight.
You keep my child quiet and entertained,
But I have a headache, and I'm going insane.

Thomas makes me want to curl up and die,
Your antics are so pointless I want to cry.
Bubble Guppies, your jokes are so bad,
Your songs stink, the whole thing is just sad.

I could speak on more shows, I could whine all day long.
But Heaven forbid my kid doesn't see his show when it's on.

A Return To Normal

For the past two months, our house has been torn apart. We were one of the unfortunate families who had damage due to Hurricane Irene. Because of flooding, the lower level of our house has been in shambles and we haven't been able to use it. But last week, my husband and I, and a few of our closest friends, have been working all day, everyday to get it back to functional.

We've torn up flooring, drywall, and studs. We've replaced walls, insulation, and painted. We worked through joint pain and sickness, and just when it seemed like it would never be finished, we succeeded. The last few nights we've been able to sit downstairs by the fire, watching TV and relaxing like we've wanted to for a long time. There's still a little work to be done, but at least we can enjoy all of our house again.

This might be the first time in a long time that I've been excited to do laundry or sweep the house. The rest of the house got completely neglected while we were working downstairs, and while I'm almost caught up, it's nice to know I can focus on what I usually do. Getting back into my routine is wonderful, and not having to worry about the fact that my house is torn up is a weight off my shoulders. We once again have "adult space" back.

Now it might be a stretch, but I feel like this can be an analogy for a life lesson. Becoming a parent can be a complete disruption in our lives. We go from thinking only of ourselves to suddenly having to worry about another living being over ourselves. We have to work through pain, sickness, sorrow, and fatigue to get things done. It seems at times like the work will never be done. But, there comes a turning point, and all of a sudden you're at the point where you can sit back and enjoy all the hard work you put into it. One of the most rewarding things is being able to see the fruits of your labor. And while your work isn't necessarily finished, you hit that defining moment, when you almost have to stop, look around you and enjoy all you have accomplished.

Things I've Learned

This week, I've learned numerous things from my children. Here's a short list of the most important ones:

1) No matter how tired or sick you are, your children don't care.

2) Waking up to a child staring at you at 5:30 in the morning is not only infuriating, it's really creepy too.

3) The dumbest things can scare the crap out of your child. They can go all through Halloween without getting scared once, but a stink bug makes them scream bloody murder.

4) Baby gates are not made to keep a two year-old contained.

5) Children do not care what time it is. If they think it's time to wake up, it's time to wake up.

6) If a "timeout" is supposed to last four minutes, your child will behave for exactly three minutes and thirty seconds.

7) Boys think throwing sticks across the road at 7:30 in the morning is funny.

8) Coffee is no match for a child's energy at 6:30 AM.

9) Toilet paper can be a really fun toy, that is until Mommy finds you out.

10) No matter how good or bad your day has been, nothings compares to the calm and solace of knowing both of your children are asleep.


Remember parents, never stop learning.

This Is Halloween

Originally, Halloween was "Samhain," a Celtic festival celebrating the end of the summer and taking stock of supplies needed for winter. It was also the time of year when they saw a surge in paranormal and spiritual activity. To ward off evil spirits, the Celts built large bonfires and conducted animal (and sometimes human) sacrifices.

Fast-forward to the 12th century. November 1st and 2nd are All Saints Day (All Hallows) and All Souls day, celebrated largely by much of the Christian world, and considered a fairly important holiday. This was a time of praying for the souls of the departed, who may have still been in purgatory. In what is now the United Kingdom, this involved "souling", where poor people would go door to door on November 1st and receive food in exchange for prayers for the dead on All Souls Day.

Between the Protestant Reformation, the founding of the United States, and perhaps just a change in times, what we celebrate now is Halloween. We bob for apples, carve and paint pumpkins, and decorate our houses. We dress our kids and ourselves in costumes that range from the creepy to the ridiculously silly. We parade through the towns drinking Sam Adams Oktoberfest and apple cider. We still have parties and bonfires, and we still go door to door, except now we beg for candy instead of food. We watch scary movies and hours-long marathons of the Munsters, and listen to "Monster Mash."

Have we degraded what was once a sacred festival and holiday? Have we strayed so far from the point we no longer remember for what this day was intended? My answer is this- who cares? It's Halloween! Have fun trick-or-treating tonight!

With Eyes Like A Child

If I asked you to describe the world in one word, what would you say? Dull? Boring? Busy? That is because we see things on a grand scale. We see how one thing in the world can affect us all. We see how boring it is to do the same thing every day, and the futility of life. That is why my children never cease to amaze me.

They see a leaf fall from a tree and it's entertainment until it blows out of sight. They spot an airplane in the sky at night, and Caleb dreams of flying. A simple trip to the store can be an adventure. Every child sees every moment separately. When that leaf falls, they don't care that the wind is blowing. They just want to watch the leaf. They don't care that people are protesting, that Congress is fighting amongst themselves, that the lower half of our house is still torn apart because of flood damage. They live in this moment, and nothing matters except what they see and dream.

When a child dreams about something, they don't sit and think about why it will never work. They just dream about going to space, or driving a race car, or being a super hero. They can't see the thousand reasons why it will most likely never happen, and they don't want to. They just dream. There is a lot going on in our lives today. But we have the opportunity, if only for a little while, to see the world through a child's eyes. Dream about what you want to without caring about the details. Look at everything as though you had never seen it before. Allow your self to be amazed at something small. We may not be able to do it all the time, but perhaps, just for a few minutes, we can let ourselves view the world in a happier way.

Samhainophobia

There comes a certain time of year,
Leaving parents rapt with fear.
Into the depths and darkness we peer,
All Hallow's Eve is finally here.

The kids have all dressed up for the night,
The price tag being the most ghastly sight.
And though you can fight it with all your might,
It's the bill that will give you the biggest fright.

Picture-time being the next biggest thrill,
Good luck getting the kids to stand still.
All of the cuteness and all of the frill,
Is no match for a two year-old's stubborn will.

The sugar is now coursing through their veins,
Driving all the children a little insane.
Please, dear God, let the sugar high wane,
And remind my children they still have a brain.

And so it's no wonder we parents still fear,
This wonderfully cursed time of year,
Put the kids in their beds and hand me a beer,
'Cause All Hallow's Eve is finally here.