How to Irritate Someone: By Caleb and AJ

When irritation is the goal, look no further. We have for you a foolproof plan. Simply follow the directions below and you're guaranteed to get the results you're looking for.

Step one: Wake up before it gets light out, preferably an hour before your mom has to wake up. This is enough time so that she thinks she will be able to go back to sleep. Little does she know...

Step two: Make up a story about hearing a scary beeping noise so you have an excuse to go in her room. This is key, because it has to be believable, other wise she will just yell and make you leave.

Step three: Once you've gained access to her room, ask every question you can think of. At this point, she will start getting irritated and tell you to go watch TV. Phase one complete. Enter phase two.

Step four: Wake up your little brother.

Step five: Yell at your little brother so he goes screaming and crying to mommy, who may or may not have started to fall asleep.

Step six: Repeat step five until her alarm actually goes off and it's time for her to get out of bed. She should be completely irritated at this point, leaving her stripped of energy and all motivation.

Don't worry Mom, it's Friday. That means while you're trying to sleep tomorrow morning, I can do it all over again.

All I Want For Christmas Is...Sleep.

My alarm is set. The house is locked up. The lights are all turned off. It's 11:00 pm, and for once, I'm in bed on time. I think to myself, "Finally, I'll get a good amount of sleep and be well rested tomorrow." Wrong. Some time around 3:30 Aj woke up and came into my room. Instead of fighting, I let him sleep in bed with me, which means I had to give up my pillow and deal with Blankie in my face. Whatever, I'm going back to sleep. Five o'clock rolls around. Caleb wakes up and comes in the room. He asks if it's time for school, and in the process, wakes Aj up. Some how, I got them both to go back to sleep...until about 6:00. Somewhere around then, I sent them both out to watch TV so I could snooze until my alarm went off.

When I got out of bed this morning, all I could think was, "How hard is it to get 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep?" I mean really, I'm not asking to sleep until noon, or have a whole day reserved for sleeping (even though I'm pretty sure I could sleep for a whole day). All I want is seven consecutive, uninterrupted hours.

Well guys, get out your cheat sheets. Here's an excellent Christmas gift idea for the lady in your life: let her sleep. I know it sounds silly, and almost to easy to be true, but that's really all you have to do. Pick a day and say, "This day, I'm going to let you sleep. Don't worry about the morning stuff, just get some sleep." You would be surprised how excited this could make a girl. Of course, this requires you to possibly put a child on the bus, or take them to school, or feed the baby and change a diaper, but the rewards are worth it.

So to sum up, Mommy's Christmas Wish List probably goes something like this: Sleep, Victoria's Secret gift card (every body wins on that one), a massage, and something sparkly. For country girls, add something camoflage. For girly girls, add a spa day. See that? I just made your holiday a little easier. You're welcome.