And This Is Why I Hate Fridays...

I could end this blog with one sentence and parents of small children everywhere would understand. Fridays are grocery shopping days. I abhor taking my kids to the store with me. They do nothing but whine at me, and tell me everything they "need". All it takes is one hour in the store and my patience tank is running on fumes. Having traversed the dreaded Walmart with my youngest throwing his Blankey and my oldest wanting everything, talking to everyone and getting his foot run over by the shopping cart, we make it to the parking lot. It's not a long walk to the car, but in that short period of time, one of the kids lost his shoe and we almost got run over by some bimbo in a big truck. Once in the car with the kids and groceries loaded, I feel a slight sense of relief. Radio comes on, and I drown out the sound of the whiny kids with Bon Jovi and INXS. Once home, the job is nearly finished. All I have to do is get the kids and groceries in the house. I get my oldest out of the car and send him in the house. While I'm getting the youngest out of his car seat, my oldest lets the dog out. I make a mad dash for him, and grab him by the collar. As a start walking him into the house, my youngest follows and I assume he'll join us at the door....that is until he falls down the stairs. Crap. Dog goes in the house, I go get the kid (who is fine, just scared) and head inside. Once I get the kids settled, then I go back outside and make the 50 trips it takes to get the groceries. So in conclusion, it takes me two and a half hours, an eighth of a tank of gas, bruised and battered kids, all of my patience, and more money than I care to spend, but hey, at least we can eat now.


Here's hoping everyone has a wonderful weekend!!

The Difference Between Babies and Puppies

I've said it many times before, a puppy and a baby are almost the same thing, except puppies don't grow up to talk back to you. Well the rest of what I'm going to say, some people may not like, because I think parents could learn a thing or two from The Dog Whisperer, and no I'm not joking. Now before anyone calls Child Services on me, hear me out.

• Establish dominance- Now that sounds weird when you're talking about kids, but it's also incredibly necessary. If the parent does not establish dominance and control, you get the kids from those "Nanny 911" shows, and really, who wants a kid like that?
• Be consistent about the rules- I've said this one before too. If you let your dog up on the couch one time, it's going to think it's OK every other time. If there's something you don't want your child to do, don't cave in and make an exception "Just this one time" because after that, they're going to do it again and again.
• Discipline and praise- Make it a point to correct bad behavior every time, but also make sure you encourage good behavior by praising and rewarding them when they do something right. Even a simple hug or high-five can go a long way with a child.
• Exercise- As it is for a dog, so it is for my boys at least. The more they play and run around and burn off excess energy, the better behaved they are and the more eager they are to listen. Even allowing your children time to run around the living room going completely nuts can help. You don't have to go outside or take them for walks or run on a treadmill, just let them play.

I'm not saying go out and buy a crate and roll up a newspaper, but there are some similarities in the way we train our dogs and our children. Proverbs says, "Train up a child in the way he should go..." That's exactly what parents should be doing. We know how we want our dogs to act, so we train them to act that way. How do we want our kids to act, and shouldn't we be training them to be that way?

Something to think about....

Things You'll Only Do For Your Kids

I was thinking over this weekend, there's a lot of things I do for my kids that I wouldn't do for anyone else. Here's just a few things I've thought of:

1. Endure 10 months of misery only to have it end in a completely humiliating and undignified way. The only other time you'd do this, is if you're in a bad marriage.
2. Watch annoying shows on TV all day long. The only other way you'd do this is.........if you're in a bad marriage.
3. Pull over while driving so they can pee. I hope no matter how bad your marriage is that your spouse can hold it until they get home.
4. Register them for school. I know this one sounds silly, but if it weren't for my kids I would never want to deal with this process. It's ridiculous!
5. Give up your life. I don't mean die for your children, I mean give up your life. It's difficult to get out and have a life of your own after you have kids. But it's totally worth it.

If there's any you'd like to add to the list, feel free to comment. Happy Monday!!

What Parents Can Learn From John Lennon

Sunday was a very lazy day for me. There was nothing pressing I had to get done; nothing terribly important I needed to do. I ended up on the couch with the kids watching Dora the Explorer, Team Umizoomi, and occasionally the backs of my eyelids. At around 12:30 when I decided I probably should do something, I felt like I had wasted the day just sitting on the couch. The dishwasher still needed to be unloaded, laundry changed over and put away, and I still hadn't had coffee. Chalk one up for the lazy mom, right? Wrong.

John Lennon said, "Time you enjoy wasting, is not wasted time." It may seem that way at first. With everything that needs to be done around the house, it's difficult to justify a little time to do nothing. When you think about it though, I was spending time snuggling on the couch with my boys, which isn't going to happen for much longer. How important is the laundry? The dishes? They're still going to be there when I get around to them. Yes, they need to be done but more important is spending time with my kids. Life is short, and I'm not guaranteed another minute with them. Let's all make it a point to enjoy the time we have.

Thanks to my Dad for the inspiration.

Open Mouth, Insert Foot

Have you ever had a moment when your children have left you speechless? I'm talking physically unable to form a sentence because you have NO clue what to say? I had one of those moments Friday afternoon. I had the rare treat of taking only one of my kids grocery shopping. Now, shopping with my four year old is somewhere between taking a bull into a china shop and a monkey into a banana store. This kid touches everything and talks to everyone. He tells them his name, why we're there, his brothers name, and then asks them their favorite color. To understate it, he's friendly. On this occasion, there was an older lady at the opposite end of the isle from us, and by older I mean she cried when the dinosaurs died. He walks right up to her, and being the polite child that I thought I had taught him to be, says, "Excuse me!" She turns around, her eyes light up, and in her frail voice replies, "Well hello sweetheart! How are you today?" What he said next, I suppose I should have been expecting, but I wasn't. He looks right at her and with every ounce of sweet he has in his body says, "You're in our way." What do you say to that?! As graciously as I could I admonished him and apologized to her. Luckily for me, she was gracious and understanding. She must have had a four year old before. Add this to the list of things no one ever teaches you how to deal with.

Pearls of Wisdom

A first grade teacher had given her class a list of partially completed proverbs and asked them to fill in the missing parts. It's truly amazing what some kids will come up with in a pinch...

• Better to be safe than punch a 5th grader.
• Strike while the bug is close.
• It's always darkest before Daylight Savings Time.
• Never underestimate the power of termites.
• You can lead a horse to water, but how?
• Don't bite the hand that looks dirty.
• A miss is as good as a Mr.
• You can't teach an old dog new math.
• If you lie down with dogs, you'll stink in the morning.
• The pen is mightier than the pigs.
• An idle mind is the best way to relax.
• Where there's smoke, there's pollution.
• Happy the bride who gets all the presents.
• A penny saved is not much.
• Two's company, three's the musketeers.
• None are so blind as Stevie Wonder.
• You get out of something what you see pictured on the box.
•  Better late than pregnant.

Have a great weekend!!

Lessons In Life

Education never stops, and sometimes it can come from unexpected places...like a four-year-old. Here are just a few things I've learned from my children.

1. Cleaning is not only futile, it's not as important as once thought.
2. When asked the question, "Why?" never start your answer with, "Because..."
3. Not only are the best things in life usually free, so are the best toys.
4. Children never listen to you, until you say a curse word. Then they don't just hear you, they also assume you want to be repeated.
5. DVDs should be included in the list of things to keep out of a child's reach, along with toilet paper, toothpaste, lotion, and hairspray.
6. Children have an innate ability to dial a phone.
7. Never put clean laundry where the child can get to it, unless you want to wash it again.
8. Given the opportunity, a three-year-old will shave his younger brother's head.
9. There is no such thing as a quiet trip to the grocery store.
10. No matter how many times you repeat yourself, you'll always have to say it at least one more time.

Having children is the epitome of continuing education. Stayed tuned for more as this list continues to grow.