Above All Else

There will be many times in our adult life that we are required to do things we don't want to do. We will deal with mediocre jobs because they pay the bills. We will suffer through all the tasks we are required to do in a day because they happen to be part of life. As much as we hate it, we do it, and for no other reason than we are supposed to.

A problem arises, however, when things other people require us to do interfere with being a parent. The question then becomes, "What in the world should I do?" The answer, simple as it is, isn't easy: your children come above all else. We give up things we love all the time for our children. For instance, there have been many times I wanted to go to a concert, or a sporting event, or a party, but couldn't because of the kids. Those are things I readily give up, knowing when I chose to have kids, it was my choice and would require me to give some things up. If we can give up things we want to do for our children, we should be able to give up things that would affect our parenting.

Not so long ago, I gave up a career in which I could be making good money so I could be home with my kids. I knew this job wouldn't allow me to call out if the kids were sick, and I would be away from them for over 12 hours a day three to four days a week. Many other people can do this, and it works out just fine. But for me, the thought of it was sickening, and I gave it up.

We all have to make tough decisions in our lifetime, but let's all make sure that we consider our children first and foremost, and I applaud those who do this successfully.

My Little Stinkbug

Three years ago today, I received a phone call at five in the morning asking me if I wanted to have a baby that day. Because I was extremely uncomfortable, my response was, "Absolutely!" Over the river and through parts of Delaware we went to the hospital, and were in a room by seven AM. Almost as soon as I was in a gown, my doctor came in and broke my water. It wasn't long before the contractions I had been having for weeks got stronger and more painful. Epidural- please and thank you. For one reason or another, it took them three tries to get the needle in the right spot. I think the bruise it left was the exact size and shape of Texas. Anyway, by the time the anaesthesiologists were finished, I was eight centimeters dilated. How's that for progress? Enter doctor, who I thought was going to say, "OK, I'll check on you again in a little bit." Instead he says, "Awesome, let's get ready to push." Not what I was expecting to hear two hours after my arrival at the hospital. Twenty-five minutes after I started pushing, Arthur Jay made his grand entrance into the world! To this day, he is my little stinkbug! Mommy loves you!

It's Going to be a Long Summer.

What President's Day means to children:

I have a four day weekend? Awesome! I can play and have fun! I can stay up later and watch movies! I don't have to wear my uniform! This is going to rock!

What President's Day means to parents:

Crap. They have a four day weekend. They're going to want to stay up later, and I'm going to have to deal with their whiny butt all day.

I know this sounds awful, but after my experience this past weekend, it's pretty much the truth. I tried to make it a pleasant weekend for everyone, but my most valiant efforts failed. I let him stay up later and "read" his books. Sunday, we spent the majority of the day hanging out on the couch watching Star Wars. They even went to Chuck E Cheese for a birthday party on Saturday! Don't get me wrong, it was really nice getting to spend time with Caleb, and he got to spend time with his Daddy on Monday going on a walk through the woods, but by Monday night all I could think was, "I'm so glad he's going back to school tomorrow."

Go on, call me "Mother of the Year", I know it sounds horrible. And it is. But mothers of hyper little boys will probably understand. He and Aj were constantly fighting over toys, begging me for something, whining at me or just running around yelling for no reason. Needless to say, it can be frustrating and wearing. All I know is that it's going to be a really long summer, but at least I'll be able to let them play outside.

Another Lesson to Learn From My Child

Yesterday was a pretty long day for Caleb. After waking up at about 6:30, in typical Caleb fashion, he went to school all day, then came home and immediately we packed up and went to his grandmother's house. He got to play there all night while my husband and I went out for Valentine's Day  dinner. We didn't get home until almost nine, and his usual bedtime is seven. To say the least, he was tired. He was so tired he was asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow.

Most mornings, I don't have to wake him up so he can get ready for school. Most of the time, he's awake before I am, and sometimes he's already eaten breakfast by the time I get up (there's at least one good thing about Poptarts). Well this morning, apparently he needed some extra sleep. When I woke up, both kids were still sleeping and the house was completely quiet. Oh how I wanted to crawl back into bed. Well, something made me stay up, against my better judgment, and a few minutes later Aj woke up. So there we sat, watching TV and trying to figure out if I should wake Caleb up or not. I decided I wasn't going to wake him up, and if he missed school, so be it. The kid is five years old and hasn't missed a day of school yet. I don't think one day would hurt. So at about 20 after seven, he comes strolling out of his room rubbing sleep from his eyes. I asked him how he was feeling, and he said, "Oh I just had to sleep a long time. I have school today?" At this point, I literally have 20 minutes to get him ready to go. However, I decided if he could get ready in time, he could go to school and we started to it. He scarfed down some breakfast and I threw a few bucks in his folder so he could buy lunch. And in no time flat, and with a little to spare, he was ready to walk out the door before the bus was here.


Once again, I'm amazed by the dedication of my child. He was so tired this morning, and probably would have spent most of the day on the couch watching TV. Instead, he woke up with an eager heart and did what he had to do. If only I could wake up in the morning with that kind of conviction and inspiration. Maybe we can all learn a lesson from our children, who do what is expected, because it is expected, even if they don't feel like it.

Just A Mom?

I can't tell you how many times I've heard it. People always ask what you do for a living, and for some reason the answer "stay-at-home mom" doesn't hold any weight to it. Some women have trouble going from a career to staying home because they feel like they're missing their calling or purpose in life. Well let's get the record straight.

Job Position: Mommy

Education Requirements: Must be able to understand the needs of your children

Experience: Helpful, but not necessary

Job Details: As a Mommy, you will have to be able to perform certain medical procedures, administer medications, and provide first aid. You will also be required to be a personal chef, nutritionist, chauffeur, laundromat, therapist, guidance counselor, teacher, CFO, personal assistant, janitor, tutor, mentor, editor, personal shopper, referee, coach, and many more. Qualified applicants will be able to perform all these tasks without going completely insane.


So let's be realistic, "Mom" is not a job title you put "just" in front of. It is one of the most difficult and important jobs on the planet. If anyone ever tries to tell you otherwise, direct them to me so I can punch them. Have a nice day.

My Children: The Best Birth Control in the World

If you or someone you know is thinking about having children, have them read this before they very carefully make their decision.

Last night, I slept horribly. I was awake more than I was asleep, and the little sleep I got wasn't great quality. To sum up, I was very, very tired this morning. Aside from Caleb not wanting to eat breakfast before he went to school, I got him on the bus pretty much without incident. I come inside to a stark naked Aj. He had stripped off his pajamas and his diaper and was running around the house like that. As I put on a new diaper and some clothes, I told him that if he did it again, he would be punished. Can you guess what happened yet?

Not only did he strip down stark naked again, he also did it when he had to go potty. You would think with as smart as this kid is, he would grasp the concept of using the toilet, but no. I'm pretty sure he thinks it's funny when I'm angry. So I find an unused diaper on the floor, and a pile of poo next to a puddle of pee...on his bedroom floor. At this point, I haven't had coffee, and I'm already at my wit's end.

I think I'm going to go to local high school and have teenagers take my kids for a few hours. I can almost guarantee the teen pregnancy rate would drop dramatically.

Try not to have a crappy day.

A Heart Full of Giving...Literally

Let me paint a picture for you. It's my senior year of high school; I'm 17 years-old and I weigh a whopping 98 pounds. I'm tiny...no, I'm worse than tiny. I'm scrawny. Towards the end of the year, I find out we're having a blood drive and you have to be 110 pounds to donate blood. So I purposefully started gaining weight so I could give. By the blood drive, I weighed 113 pounds and donated my first pint of blood.

I gave a few times after that, but in college I wasn't able to give when I wanted to because my hemoglobin was too low. Then I got a tattoo...and then I got pregnant...and let's suffice it to say I haven't donated in years. But today, that all changes. Around noon today, I'm heading to one of the area hospitals to donate. I don't know if my iron will be too low, but I can sure try. It's time I started giving back again, and I want to call you to do the same.

According to the American Red Cross, 44,000 units of blood are needed every day. Luckily, we have a little to spare. In a few weeks, our bone marrow will restore the pint of blood we donate. And that pint that our bodies never missed could mean a life saved. I challenge you today to find a blood drive and give if you can. It's about one hour out of your life, but it could mean a lifetime for someone in need.

Visit the Red Cross website to find a drive near you. www.redcrossblood.org

How to Irritate Someone: By Caleb and AJ

When irritation is the goal, look no further. We have for you a foolproof plan. Simply follow the directions below and you're guaranteed to get the results you're looking for.

Step one: Wake up before it gets light out, preferably an hour before your mom has to wake up. This is enough time so that she thinks she will be able to go back to sleep. Little does she know...

Step two: Make up a story about hearing a scary beeping noise so you have an excuse to go in her room. This is key, because it has to be believable, other wise she will just yell and make you leave.

Step three: Once you've gained access to her room, ask every question you can think of. At this point, she will start getting irritated and tell you to go watch TV. Phase one complete. Enter phase two.

Step four: Wake up your little brother.

Step five: Yell at your little brother so he goes screaming and crying to mommy, who may or may not have started to fall asleep.

Step six: Repeat step five until her alarm actually goes off and it's time for her to get out of bed. She should be completely irritated at this point, leaving her stripped of energy and all motivation.

Don't worry Mom, it's Friday. That means while you're trying to sleep tomorrow morning, I can do it all over again.

The One Where We Almost Have to Go to the Hospital

Last week in school, Caleb and his class were learning about music. One of those days, they made shakers with dried beans inside of them. He was very proud of his, since he made them and he also colored them his favorite colors.

Well, like most things in my house, the shakers didn't last very long. One of them broke open a few days ago and literally spilled the non-proverbial beans everywhere. We cleaned them up, but we have been finding random beans all over the place now. Usually Aj finds them and thinks of some way to annoy me with them, but there was one bean, one stupid little bean, that Aj didn't find...Caleb did.

For reasons unexplained to us, Caleb decided to put this one little bean up his nose. And I'm not talking he put it in his nose and was laughing and being silly, I'm pretty sure this kid snorted the bean up his nose. Upon shining a flashlight up there, we couldn't see it. So many things were going through my head at this point-like laughter-but I couldn't help but wonder if we were going to be able to get this thing out or if we would have to go to the hospital. And so we blow the nose. And blow. And blow. And it's not coming out. Crap.

Caleb is crying pretty hard at this point. It had to be uncomfortable at the least, and scary. While I was sitting and thinking of what I was going to do next, all he did was cough, and bean and blood came out of his nose and onto the tissue. Caleb went from crying hysterically to laughing hysterically in the amount of time it takes to shoot a bean out of your nose. Yeah, that's my kid.

So moms of little boys (and girls) take heart when your child does something like this. You're not alone.