Here Comes the Sun

It’s that time of year again. The time of year when trees start to get their buds, flowers start to pop up out of no where, and insects literally come out of the wood works. This is also the time of year when I begin to lose my mind.

Up until this point in the winter, I at least have the sun to help me wake up in the mornings. But now, now I have to try to rise without the sun shining…and I’m not very good at that. So who do we have to blame for this lack of sun in the morning? Well, a few people actually.

Benjamin Franklin is credited with proposing something similar to Daylight Saving Time in 1784, but nothing ever came from it. George Vernon Hudson was an English entomologist who worked shift work and therefore, in 1895, proposed a two hour shift in time during the warmer months so people could take advantage of extra light in the evenings. Hudson’s proposal was introduced to the House Of Commons in a bill in 1908, but was not passed. Germany and it’s allies first implemented Daylight Saving Time in 1916 as a way to conserve coal. After the U.S. entered the war in 1917, politicians decided it seemed like a good idea, and DST was passed in 1918.

So now that we’ve had a little history lesson, what have we learned? What I’ve learned is that Daylight Saving Time is an antiquated ritual, not unlike the electoral college, which has good points, but mainly needs to just be done away with. I guess until that happens I’ll just have to be happy with more light at night, and start having my coffee automatically brew in the morning.

Thus Begins a New Era

It is my personal belief that not only can you measure a child's development based on his age, but also based on phases. Currently, Aj is in the "Push Mommy's buttons until she explodes in a storm of anger" phase. Until now, Caleb was in the "Hanging out doing what Mommy asks me to and being hyper" phase. This was quite the relief considering his previous phases: "I'm a cutie so I'm going to try to get away with as much as possible"; "Mommy will get tired of punishing me if I keep doing the same thing"; and "It will be a miracle if you live to see five".

Now, however, we are entering a new phase. Thus begins the era of "I'm going to act like the other kids I see." You can imagine how thrilled I am about this, considering I find other children terribly annoying. The worst is when he tries to imitate their laughs and mannerisms. I actually told him the other day that I don't want other kids, that I want Caleb. He got it for about five minutes. Unfortunately, this takes hyper to a whole new level. I understand what it's like to have a lot of energy, so normally I let it go for as long as possible before I tell him to chill out. The problem is, now when I tell him to chill out, he continues to act ridiculous until I'm forced to yell at him. Sometimes even after I yell, he keeps it up. I'm going to have to start coming up with creative punishments for this one.

So if you're a mother who sees her child going through this phase, take heart. You're not alone. I'm sure it can't last long....right?

Play Ball!

It's that wonderful time of year when spring training begins and kids all over the country start signing up for little league. Last night, Caleb and I went to the local municipal building to sign him up for baseball. You can't imagine how excited this kid is! He was practically jumping up and down in his booster seat on the way there! I'm excited that he's finally going to have a good outlet for all of his energy, but there's a few things I'm honestly not too excited about.

I know that with my husbands work schedule he won't be able to make all the games. I know that for the most part, I'm going to have to cart Caleb to practice and games by myself. No, I'm sorry, not by myself. I'll have Aj to keep me company...Heaven help us. That's going to be the really interesting part: me keeping Aj occupied while simultaneously trying to watch Caleb play. Should be fun.

Here's what I'm really excited about: the look on Caleb's face when he gets his first hit in a game; his reaction the first time he catches the ball; practicing with him in the yard and watching him get better and better. I can't wait to watch him play and learn about being a good sport. I'm happy he has an opportunity to make new friends.

Overall, I think this is a wonderful experience for both of us, and I can't wait to let the good times roll!

Play ball!

Above All Else

There will be many times in our adult life that we are required to do things we don't want to do. We will deal with mediocre jobs because they pay the bills. We will suffer through all the tasks we are required to do in a day because they happen to be part of life. As much as we hate it, we do it, and for no other reason than we are supposed to.

A problem arises, however, when things other people require us to do interfere with being a parent. The question then becomes, "What in the world should I do?" The answer, simple as it is, isn't easy: your children come above all else. We give up things we love all the time for our children. For instance, there have been many times I wanted to go to a concert, or a sporting event, or a party, but couldn't because of the kids. Those are things I readily give up, knowing when I chose to have kids, it was my choice and would require me to give some things up. If we can give up things we want to do for our children, we should be able to give up things that would affect our parenting.

Not so long ago, I gave up a career in which I could be making good money so I could be home with my kids. I knew this job wouldn't allow me to call out if the kids were sick, and I would be away from them for over 12 hours a day three to four days a week. Many other people can do this, and it works out just fine. But for me, the thought of it was sickening, and I gave it up.

We all have to make tough decisions in our lifetime, but let's all make sure that we consider our children first and foremost, and I applaud those who do this successfully.

My Little Stinkbug

Three years ago today, I received a phone call at five in the morning asking me if I wanted to have a baby that day. Because I was extremely uncomfortable, my response was, "Absolutely!" Over the river and through parts of Delaware we went to the hospital, and were in a room by seven AM. Almost as soon as I was in a gown, my doctor came in and broke my water. It wasn't long before the contractions I had been having for weeks got stronger and more painful. Epidural- please and thank you. For one reason or another, it took them three tries to get the needle in the right spot. I think the bruise it left was the exact size and shape of Texas. Anyway, by the time the anaesthesiologists were finished, I was eight centimeters dilated. How's that for progress? Enter doctor, who I thought was going to say, "OK, I'll check on you again in a little bit." Instead he says, "Awesome, let's get ready to push." Not what I was expecting to hear two hours after my arrival at the hospital. Twenty-five minutes after I started pushing, Arthur Jay made his grand entrance into the world! To this day, he is my little stinkbug! Mommy loves you!

It's Going to be a Long Summer.

What President's Day means to children:

I have a four day weekend? Awesome! I can play and have fun! I can stay up later and watch movies! I don't have to wear my uniform! This is going to rock!

What President's Day means to parents:

Crap. They have a four day weekend. They're going to want to stay up later, and I'm going to have to deal with their whiny butt all day.

I know this sounds awful, but after my experience this past weekend, it's pretty much the truth. I tried to make it a pleasant weekend for everyone, but my most valiant efforts failed. I let him stay up later and "read" his books. Sunday, we spent the majority of the day hanging out on the couch watching Star Wars. They even went to Chuck E Cheese for a birthday party on Saturday! Don't get me wrong, it was really nice getting to spend time with Caleb, and he got to spend time with his Daddy on Monday going on a walk through the woods, but by Monday night all I could think was, "I'm so glad he's going back to school tomorrow."

Go on, call me "Mother of the Year", I know it sounds horrible. And it is. But mothers of hyper little boys will probably understand. He and Aj were constantly fighting over toys, begging me for something, whining at me or just running around yelling for no reason. Needless to say, it can be frustrating and wearing. All I know is that it's going to be a really long summer, but at least I'll be able to let them play outside.

Another Lesson to Learn From My Child

Yesterday was a pretty long day for Caleb. After waking up at about 6:30, in typical Caleb fashion, he went to school all day, then came home and immediately we packed up and went to his grandmother's house. He got to play there all night while my husband and I went out for Valentine's Day  dinner. We didn't get home until almost nine, and his usual bedtime is seven. To say the least, he was tired. He was so tired he was asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow.

Most mornings, I don't have to wake him up so he can get ready for school. Most of the time, he's awake before I am, and sometimes he's already eaten breakfast by the time I get up (there's at least one good thing about Poptarts). Well this morning, apparently he needed some extra sleep. When I woke up, both kids were still sleeping and the house was completely quiet. Oh how I wanted to crawl back into bed. Well, something made me stay up, against my better judgment, and a few minutes later Aj woke up. So there we sat, watching TV and trying to figure out if I should wake Caleb up or not. I decided I wasn't going to wake him up, and if he missed school, so be it. The kid is five years old and hasn't missed a day of school yet. I don't think one day would hurt. So at about 20 after seven, he comes strolling out of his room rubbing sleep from his eyes. I asked him how he was feeling, and he said, "Oh I just had to sleep a long time. I have school today?" At this point, I literally have 20 minutes to get him ready to go. However, I decided if he could get ready in time, he could go to school and we started to it. He scarfed down some breakfast and I threw a few bucks in his folder so he could buy lunch. And in no time flat, and with a little to spare, he was ready to walk out the door before the bus was here.


Once again, I'm amazed by the dedication of my child. He was so tired this morning, and probably would have spent most of the day on the couch watching TV. Instead, he woke up with an eager heart and did what he had to do. If only I could wake up in the morning with that kind of conviction and inspiration. Maybe we can all learn a lesson from our children, who do what is expected, because it is expected, even if they don't feel like it.

Just A Mom?

I can't tell you how many times I've heard it. People always ask what you do for a living, and for some reason the answer "stay-at-home mom" doesn't hold any weight to it. Some women have trouble going from a career to staying home because they feel like they're missing their calling or purpose in life. Well let's get the record straight.

Job Position: Mommy

Education Requirements: Must be able to understand the needs of your children

Experience: Helpful, but not necessary

Job Details: As a Mommy, you will have to be able to perform certain medical procedures, administer medications, and provide first aid. You will also be required to be a personal chef, nutritionist, chauffeur, laundromat, therapist, guidance counselor, teacher, CFO, personal assistant, janitor, tutor, mentor, editor, personal shopper, referee, coach, and many more. Qualified applicants will be able to perform all these tasks without going completely insane.


So let's be realistic, "Mom" is not a job title you put "just" in front of. It is one of the most difficult and important jobs on the planet. If anyone ever tries to tell you otherwise, direct them to me so I can punch them. Have a nice day.

My Children: The Best Birth Control in the World

If you or someone you know is thinking about having children, have them read this before they very carefully make their decision.

Last night, I slept horribly. I was awake more than I was asleep, and the little sleep I got wasn't great quality. To sum up, I was very, very tired this morning. Aside from Caleb not wanting to eat breakfast before he went to school, I got him on the bus pretty much without incident. I come inside to a stark naked Aj. He had stripped off his pajamas and his diaper and was running around the house like that. As I put on a new diaper and some clothes, I told him that if he did it again, he would be punished. Can you guess what happened yet?

Not only did he strip down stark naked again, he also did it when he had to go potty. You would think with as smart as this kid is, he would grasp the concept of using the toilet, but no. I'm pretty sure he thinks it's funny when I'm angry. So I find an unused diaper on the floor, and a pile of poo next to a puddle of pee...on his bedroom floor. At this point, I haven't had coffee, and I'm already at my wit's end.

I think I'm going to go to local high school and have teenagers take my kids for a few hours. I can almost guarantee the teen pregnancy rate would drop dramatically.

Try not to have a crappy day.

A Heart Full of Giving...Literally

Let me paint a picture for you. It's my senior year of high school; I'm 17 years-old and I weigh a whopping 98 pounds. I'm tiny...no, I'm worse than tiny. I'm scrawny. Towards the end of the year, I find out we're having a blood drive and you have to be 110 pounds to donate blood. So I purposefully started gaining weight so I could give. By the blood drive, I weighed 113 pounds and donated my first pint of blood.

I gave a few times after that, but in college I wasn't able to give when I wanted to because my hemoglobin was too low. Then I got a tattoo...and then I got pregnant...and let's suffice it to say I haven't donated in years. But today, that all changes. Around noon today, I'm heading to one of the area hospitals to donate. I don't know if my iron will be too low, but I can sure try. It's time I started giving back again, and I want to call you to do the same.

According to the American Red Cross, 44,000 units of blood are needed every day. Luckily, we have a little to spare. In a few weeks, our bone marrow will restore the pint of blood we donate. And that pint that our bodies never missed could mean a life saved. I challenge you today to find a blood drive and give if you can. It's about one hour out of your life, but it could mean a lifetime for someone in need.

Visit the Red Cross website to find a drive near you. www.redcrossblood.org

How to Irritate Someone: By Caleb and AJ

When irritation is the goal, look no further. We have for you a foolproof plan. Simply follow the directions below and you're guaranteed to get the results you're looking for.

Step one: Wake up before it gets light out, preferably an hour before your mom has to wake up. This is enough time so that she thinks she will be able to go back to sleep. Little does she know...

Step two: Make up a story about hearing a scary beeping noise so you have an excuse to go in her room. This is key, because it has to be believable, other wise she will just yell and make you leave.

Step three: Once you've gained access to her room, ask every question you can think of. At this point, she will start getting irritated and tell you to go watch TV. Phase one complete. Enter phase two.

Step four: Wake up your little brother.

Step five: Yell at your little brother so he goes screaming and crying to mommy, who may or may not have started to fall asleep.

Step six: Repeat step five until her alarm actually goes off and it's time for her to get out of bed. She should be completely irritated at this point, leaving her stripped of energy and all motivation.

Don't worry Mom, it's Friday. That means while you're trying to sleep tomorrow morning, I can do it all over again.

The One Where We Almost Have to Go to the Hospital

Last week in school, Caleb and his class were learning about music. One of those days, they made shakers with dried beans inside of them. He was very proud of his, since he made them and he also colored them his favorite colors.

Well, like most things in my house, the shakers didn't last very long. One of them broke open a few days ago and literally spilled the non-proverbial beans everywhere. We cleaned them up, but we have been finding random beans all over the place now. Usually Aj finds them and thinks of some way to annoy me with them, but there was one bean, one stupid little bean, that Aj didn't find...Caleb did.

For reasons unexplained to us, Caleb decided to put this one little bean up his nose. And I'm not talking he put it in his nose and was laughing and being silly, I'm pretty sure this kid snorted the bean up his nose. Upon shining a flashlight up there, we couldn't see it. So many things were going through my head at this point-like laughter-but I couldn't help but wonder if we were going to be able to get this thing out or if we would have to go to the hospital. And so we blow the nose. And blow. And blow. And it's not coming out. Crap.

Caleb is crying pretty hard at this point. It had to be uncomfortable at the least, and scary. While I was sitting and thinking of what I was going to do next, all he did was cough, and bean and blood came out of his nose and onto the tissue. Caleb went from crying hysterically to laughing hysterically in the amount of time it takes to shoot a bean out of your nose. Yeah, that's my kid.

So moms of little boys (and girls) take heart when your child does something like this. You're not alone.

Next Stop: My Childhood

There are many wonderful things about being a parent. Of course there's the obvious cliche answers like the love and the bond you share with your child, and knowing you made an impact on some one's life. Blah blah blah. Even though those things are wonderful, this particular blog is not a sappy one.

One of my favorite things about having kids is having random memories from my childhood, ones I had long since forgotten, come screaming back to life in an instant just because of something my kids did or a movie we watch. Within the past year, I've bought and watched All Dogs Go to Heaven, An American Tale, and The Lion King. I have distinct memories of these movies from my childhood, and it's amazing how quickly these memories come back to you.

Within the last half hour, while I've been sitting here at my laptop writing this, I have seen an episode of The Adventures of Winnie the Pooh as well as a commercial for Dumbo, which will apparently be playing on the Disney Channel soon. Over the holidays, we watched How the Grinch Stole Christmas and A Charlie Brown Christmas numerous times. I have DVDs of Animaniacs and Freakazoid and I love watching them with the kids.

As much as I love reliving my old memories, making new memories to share with my kids is what I love most about it. I now have two sets of memories surrounding these things, and I know that my kids will remember them for years to come. So your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to find a movie or a TV show that you watched as a kid, and take the time to watch it with your own children. Share a memory with them, and make a new one.

Pre-K: The New 8th Grade

So let me start off by saying, earlier this week I got a flyer in Caleb's school folder telling the parents that there is a "Sweetheart Dance" for Pre-K- 4th graders. They're supposed to bring a parent, but for Heaven's sake, it's a dance...for five year olds...I'm not going. Anyway...

Caleb normally comes home from school extremely happy. He's usually bouncing off the walls and telling me about his day. Yesterday, he wasn't doing any of that. He was sullen, not smiling, and didn't want to talk about school. Enter Mom-Mode. About 50 questions start rolling through my head, "Are you sick?" "Did something happen at school?" "Did someone at school hurt you?" I couldn't get him to talk. Most of his answers were "No." or "It's just nothing." I was worried, but if you've ever tried talking to Caleb when he doesn't want to talk, you know it's a losing battle. I thought I would give him some space and try again later.

Enter "Uncle" George, who has a special way with the kids. He gets Caleb answering questions. And we find out, through interrogation, that Caleb is sad because one of the girls in his class doesn't want to be his friend any more. She doesn't want to be his friend because he hasn't invited her over to play. So he tells me, he's upset because he isn't friends with everyone. Oh my goodness, I thought this was teenage girl drama.

Obviously we reassure him that sometimes not everyone will like you, and to keep being nice to her anyway. He was fairly happy with that. He told me after dinner that he is going to be friends with everyone even if they aren't friends with him. That's my Caleb.

But in all seriousness, what is happening with our children? I thought Pre-K was preparing for Kindergarten, not high school. I thought it was a time to make friends and learn through playing, not fighting over who likes who and whether or not you're my friend. Our children are growing up way too fast, and we only have ourselves to blame. We should allow our children to be children for awhile, not hurrying them to grow up. You have 18 years with your kids no matter how "mature" they are at five. Let's allow them to remain innocent awhile longer.

I'll step off my soap box now.

Hand Over The Coffee And No One Gets Hurt

If you have ever had the pleasure of experiencing a kidney stone, you know you will do pretty much anything to make that pain go away. I’ve heard of people mixing lemon juice with olive oil and drinking it in an attempt to expedite the passing of a stone. That, to me, is a level of desperation even I haven’t reached yet.

The problem is, I know my kidney stones are caused from all the coffee, tea, and soda I drink. So when I get a stone, like I did yesterday, I refrain from drinking my beloved coffee and opt for water. This is what happens when I don’t have coffee.

All day yesterday I had a headache. I was alternating Advil with Tylenol to try to ease the pain from my kidney stone, and even the combination of the medication couldn’t take away my headache. I became extremely irritable, which I suppose you could blame on the fact that I had an extremely sharp rock causing hundreds of tiny cuts and spasms as it moved from my kidney to my bladder, but I’m pretty sure it’s because I didn’t have coffee.I wasn’t just jumping down people’s throats, I was practically tearing their heads off. If there were a treatment center for people with coffee dependency, I could be their poster child. Hi, my name is Chrissy. I’ve been coffee-free for almost 24 hours. (Applause)

This morning, against my better judgment, I broke down and had my cup of sweet, delicious coffee. While I certainly don’t want to form another kidney stone, I know that I can’t make it another day without it, especially considering I have to go to the store today, and bake some cookies on top of my normal every day things like laundry, cooking, and so forth.

In conclusion, I came to the realization that I am an addict. If the threat of a kidney stone can’t make me give up coffee, then I’m not sure anything could. I wonder what the 12 steps for Coffee-holics Anonymous would be?

The Art of Losing

It was a tough weekend for the Harbaugh brothers, which means it was a tough weekend at our house. You see, I am a Ravens fan, and my sister is a 49ers fan. I had the kids watching the Ravens game with me yesterday, and this is pretty much how it went...

Every time the Ravens scored, forced a fumble, got an interception, I would jump up and down and yell and clap. The kids did the same.

Every time the Patriots made a good play, or when they got an interception, or scored, I yelled something similar to "Oh, come on. Are you serious?" The kids did the same.

I swore once, luckily they didn't repeat me.

Well after we ended up losing, all I could do was sit in complete shock and in silence. After processing the loss of my team, I started thinking about how my children were learning how to be a sports fan through what I was doing. And the question came to mind, how would I want them to act in this situation? When they start playing soccer or baseball or whatever sport they choose, how are they going to act when they lose? How are they going to act when they win? The answer is however I do.

I want my children to be gracious losers. I want them to give the other team credit for what they did well. I want them to understand that sometimes, you can give it your all and do your best, and the other team beats you fair and square. Yelling doesn't take away your loss, so at least accept your loss with dignity and grace.

I also want them to be gracious winners. No gloating on the sidelines, no rubbing it in. Still give the other team credit for what they did right. Don't act like you had it in the proverbial bag all along. It's one thing to be competitive, it's another thing to be a jerk.

I hope that with time, my children will learn to be like this, even if I can't always show them by example. Heaven knows there are times I'm not very sportsman-like while I'm watching my team on TV. However, I would be more proud of my son if he accepted his loss graciously, than if he won and acted like a jerk.

Great games Patriots and Giants, but I still hope that somehow you both lose the Superbowl.